Stalker, Stalker
by Katniss Everdeens
Summary: A young freshman girl stalks Alec all day, and Alec's got a feeling he knows the reason why.


****Okay please don't take this seriously. This was just meant to be fun, not for anything else. I hope it's funny, because it was my pathetic attempt at trying to make a humorous one-shot. It probably isn't, but what do you know? It probably could be... if you tilt your head to the right, squint, close your left eye, and lean forward...****

**Ahem. Let's move on, shall we?**

**Judging by some of the events in the story, I'd say before CoFA and after (and most likely in AU.) CoG.**

**Disclaimer: It really says itself, but whatever. I don't own Mortal Instruments, Project Runway, or just _anything _in general except Madi okay?**

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><p>Alexander "Alec" Lightwood was extremely pissed.<p>

Madi (With one 'd' and one 'i'), a silly freshman girl, had literally followed him around all day. Seriously, like into the _boys' bathroom. _He had never been so embarrassed in his life.

He knew something had to be done; he was sure Magnus would mind that a little fifteen year old girl was following his boyfriend around.

"Oh Allie-poo!"

Alec cringed at the nickname, recognizing the owner of the voice completely.

"Madison, I DO NOT LIKE YOU!" He shouted in her face, feeling satisfied as a flash of hurt crossed her features. But almost as quickly as it came, it left, replacing her features with a much brighter and happier expression.

"Of course you do, Allie-poo. We're going to get married and have a daughter named Delaney. Or maybe Emma. Ooh! We'll have two daughters named Delaney and Emma!" Madi shrieked excitedly, jumping up and down. Alec sighed and slapped his forehead with his palm in exasperation.

"Madi, I have a boyfriend, and I already introduced you to him. Remember?"

Speak of the devil, Magnus stolled up to the two, smirking at Madi. "Yes, Madi. Remember me? Alec's boyfriend?"

Madi only giggled, crossing her arms. "One day, Alec will be mine. You may be confused right now, sweetie, but I know you'll want me someday."

With that, she left the couple, only to follow Alec around when Magnus wasn't there. Which was about an hour later . . .

"Madison!" He yelled. She giggled.

"It's Madi, silly! And I'd pretty much prefer you to call me 'baby' or 'pookins'. Maybe even 'Baby pookins'! It's cute, isn't it? Oh! And I morphed our faces into one and clicked the 'multi-girl' button, so there are two girls that would look like us! Their names are... guess!" Madi's shrill voice rang, giving him a queasy feeling in his stomach.

"Delaney and Emma?" he guessed in annoyance, wanting nothing more than to be with Magnus. In his bed.

With whipped cream. (But that's not the main topic here...)

"_OHMYEFFIN'GAWD!_ THAT'S _EXACTLY _WHAT I NAMED THEM! You must be a psychic, babe!"

Oh, so now he's her 'babe'?

"Look, Madi or pookins or baby or baby pookins whatever! I'm in love with my boyfriend, okay? I'm sorry, but I don't like you like that. Maybe that friend of yours–Sam, is it?–will be the man that will give you Delaney and Emma, but not me, okay?" He said bluntly, gripping her shoulders and forcing her to look at him.

What she did next, really surprised him. She started tearing up, sobbing a little.

"I know! I'm sorry, Alec. Jace, your brother? He made me do this for two hundred fifty bucks, so I agreed!" she cried. She then looked at him sadly. "I'm really sorry! My parents are a little low on money, so I needed whatever I could get!"

Alec nodded, not hearing her as his vision turned to red.

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><p>"...so that's how I became ripped! Isn't it awesome? I am <em>so <em>awesome." Jace told his girlfriend, Clary Fray, winking at her. Clary rolled her eyes, crossing her arms.

"I don't approve of you bribing Madison to do that! Alec's probably scarred!" she scolded him, scowling.

Jace laughed. "It was only for fun! And she needed the money, so I helped her out!"

"But it didn't have to go as far as her going into the bathroom with him!"

"Lighten up, Clary. At least she didn't go into the stall with him!"

Rolling her eyes once more, Clary stalked off. Jace would've went after her if he hadn't of known that when she was angry; there's no stopping her when she's mad.

"JACE!"

He smirked when Alec stepped in front of him, pushing him against the wall nearest to them.

"You... idiot!" Alec growled. Jace laughed and shook his head.

"Did you see your face? Oh, it was priceless! I wish I had a camera-"

"She stalked me! EVERYWHERE! In the bathroom, in my classes... it drove me nuts! Do you know how much I wanted to kill her? I just wanted to... _wring _her neck and _smash_ a baseball bat against her_ head _when she just _wouldn't_ stop!"

"At least she stopped! You can go run off with Magnus and watch _Project Runway_ or something."

With that, the blonde left, most likely going to find where Clary went. Alec, who was fuming which, by the way, was _really _something, began plotting ways to get his friend back.

Jace should be scared.

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><p><strong>AN: **Yeah, this is just... really random. I guess it's in the Shadowhunter universe and that they're just at a mundane school for punishment, but I don't know. I don't really care how you look at it, this was just a random one-shot not meant to really be good at all. Maybe it was just to fuel my boredom and probably to prove my friend I could finish something? I still seriously don't know.****


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